Portland City Council Says Mayor Must Pay for Own Top Hat and Sash

Portland —┬áPortland’s city council and mayor are once again butting heads, this time over provisions for the mayor’s professional accouterments.

Mayor Ethan Strimling requested compensation for his silken sash and top hat, both of which were crafted by the finest artisans in the land.

But the city council refused.

“We are not going to spend another dime of the city’s money on finery for the mayor,” councilor David Brenerman said.

“Mayor Strimling already has a line item in the budget to allow for the purchase of a filigree mayor’s sceptre, something we are happy to provide,” he added.

Mayor Strimling showed up to the latest city council meeting in a newly acquired top hat and sash, without having told anyone of his new outfit beforehand.

“It was a bit of a shock,” District 1 Councilor Belinda S. Ray said.

“He just sat there, adjusting his sash and hat and clearing his throat. I guess he was hoping someone would say something about it?”

Strimling says the accouterments are necessary for him to fulfill his duties as Portland’s mayor, and therefore should be covered by the budget.

“This top hat and sash are as much a part of the mayor’s office as my desk, or the golden pocket watch I use to announce the start of dirigible races,” Strimling argued.

Author: Seth G. Macy

Real American.

One thought on “Portland City Council Says Mayor Must Pay for Own Top Hat and Sash”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s